Here is the break down …I am getting married in 8 months and yes I know there is some time…my Maid of Honor is going through an awful time in her life right now and I feel like to have her focus on my life is selfish of me I asked her about 11 months ago to be in the wedding….background for you: My maid of honor just graduated from law school passed the bar – broke off her engagement can’t find a job and now is facing eviction if she can’t find money to pay her rent….with this economy I think it is bad…I asked her previously in august or so before things became so bad …to contact my mom and the other girls to discuss the shower (all of them live hours away so email is the best form of communication along with phone) and we needed to book the times and dates as many people are coming in from out of town…she told me that she did contact everyone and I came to find out that she never once did so my mom is working with my aunts and the other girls now to make sure everything is set…
this past weekend I asked all the girls to come into town so they could have enough time to pick a dress and make sure it was ordered in time…they all did except for her she told me that she needed to use her grocery money to drive up her (when other girls offer to carpool) and then the rest of the months rent to pay for a dress….I told her that I could cover it for her and that the other girls could drive her ( they do not know anything about her sitation partially because it is between me and her and partially because none of bridesmaid’s know each other) —she never showed…I feel like if I continue to ask her to do stuff its either a big ordeal because of her situation or she is not doing it…
I asked her to look at dresses with me and I drove to her and she never showed up …I am having trouble finding the dress and I need to soon and she told me maybe I was meant to be miserable like her if I can’t find it….
She is not financially or emotionally able to be there for me and I would not expect her to because of everything going in her life and I am trying to be there for her but since she is not I feel like it would be selfish to continue to ask her to do anything for the wedding….I am thinking of asking her to be a guest considering circumstances and to help her focus on her life more….
What do you think ?
Oh the reason I said emotionaly is because my fiance’s sister is giving me hell and when she does I usually call her but she told me to suck it up so I am just not talking about and keeping it between me and my fiance…
I am being really awful because I feel like it would be selfish to ask her to do stuff that I know she can’t afford and I know I can’t cover all of it for her either…
I don’t want to ruin the friendship but she is her main concern right now – finding a job making a living and working out the stuff in her life…
I am only concerned for her…and the other girls are doing their best to help but everyone is financially stuck its the economy I just feel like it might be better for her to focus on her and not try to help me out…I want waht is best for her and love her dearly and i don’t think this is the best…