What should I do with my borderline mother?

I have a love/hate/hate relationship with my mother. She abused me as a child, hated me for the fact that I missed my father (who left her), blamed me for her having not gone back to college, and has done so much to try to keep me back in life. She’s succeeded a lot, and I’m growing weary of fighting her. I honestly wish that she were either dead or far enough away from me where she wouldn’t visit. She’s too selfish to get on a plane unless someone pays for it.

The woman stripped me and beat me, slapped me if I looked like I didn’t agree with her words/actions, called me names, refused to sign my FAFSA forms when it was time for me to go to college (she was afraid of her identity getting stolen…but she has tons of credit cards). She took me to a foreign country and got jealous when I learned the language and was able to get around and have fun…when she could not. She had married a man she’d only known for months, and rather than admit to her fault, she lied to my family about me. She ruined my reputation with them. I had a stroke two years ago, and she refused to tell my family I was sick. She told her sisters I was faking. How do you fake your way into the ICU?

The woman is always around willing to help until I really need her, and then she’s struggling. Right now I’m facing eviction, and she’s complaining about how she can’t get her multiple houses rented. My fiancee and I juggle medical needs with bills, struggle to put food in our fridge, and she drives a Chrysler 300.

I just started working again, and asked my mom to help me (stupid STUPID me) with half of daycare for a month. $75 a week, so we’d have a little bit left over from my serving tips (I went on bedrest to have my son just before the economy took a nosedive). She’s struggling in her house with no mortgage, fridge full of food, and paid off Chrysler.

Every time I try to get on my feet, she does whatever she can to make it difficult for me. For now, I’m just gonna have to break even with this job. They want to train me for management, but I’m just paying for daycare now. No extra income. I hope it doesn’t take long.

I am a smart, hardworking individual. Before I got sick I was working two full-time jobs and going to school full-time with a 3.7 GPA. I’m NOT a slacker. I work as hard as I can, but sometimes I can’t do it all. Sometimes my family can’t do it all. If it weren’t for my fiancee’s parents I don’t know where we’d be. And they’re far less wealthy than my mom. I feel like for her “helping” is just something she can use to make herself look good. It doesn’t come from her heart. She keeps saying that she’s always taught me right and been there for me, but that’s far from the truth. Everything I’ve learned on my own she claims she’s taught me. Every success I’ve had she takes credit for. And every time I need her, she makes me feel like a freeloader.

My brother says my mom owes me nothing. I feel she owes me love, and that’s more than just words. I told her that if she didn’t care, she should have gotten that abortion. Should I just write her off? Trying to compromise with this woman has me feeling like a dog searching for scraps from the rich man’s table.

Posted in Landlord Tenant Law.

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