My sister is living with me. Due to marriage problems my sister lost her scholarship, and she doesn’t have money for rent, which is why she is staying with us. I was hoping, that letting her live with us for her last two semesters of collage would give her a stable environment to study in It’s all been a bit too chaotic though. She has no regard for our home.
In response to several of my sister’s actions my husband and I compiled a list of rules. It was originally 37 items long, however we have condensed it to 13 items.
We are having her sign it, and treating it as a contract for her expected behavior in our home. My plan is to sit down and talk with her about it, letting her know that her previous behavior in my home has been unacceptable.
Before our relationship was a trade, she received free room and bored in exchange for watching Inara (my DD) for 11 hours a week. Since she has started watching Inara though she has learned several bad habits: like how throwing a tantrum works, or how to say the “S” word. We are now hiring a sitter, and letting her stay in our home completely for free.
What do you think should be repercussions for breaking these rules? I can tell her that if she doesn’t follow these rules she will be finding a new place to stay, however there have too be some intermediary punishment as well. She is 25, I am her younger sister (22). She acts like a teenager – I’d rather avoid as much drama as possible.
Here is the list:
1. If I make a mess in a communal area, I will clean it before bed time. This includes leaving clothes, blankets and personal items strewn about the area.
2. I will not purchase meat to keep in the house.
3. I will let Peter and Eleanore know before bringing a guest over.
4. I will not wear shoes in the house unless heading back out within 5 minutes.
5. I will not swear while the baby’s awake.
6. I will not bring any additional pets into the house.
7. I will defer to Peter and Eleanore or her sitter regarding care of Inara, including nighttime care.
8. I will ask each time before borrowing any item, and always return to its owner promptly and in good condition.
9. I am responsible for protecting, maintaining, and locating my own possessions, as well as keeping them out of Inara’s reach.
10. If I am upset or bothered by someone or something then I will take steps to resolve the issue through positive communication with other household members.
11. I am responsible for making my own transportation arrangements, including getting rides or keeping adequate bus fare.
12. I will not ask or expect Peter or Eleanore to lie, mislead, or hide information from anyone under any circumstance.
13. I understand that absolutely no violence or intentional destruction will be tolerated in any form; this is immediate grounds for eviction.
What do you think? any tips in presenting it to her?